Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Just enough light for the step I'm on

For those of you who know us, you are familiar with our present circumstance. And for those of who are just getting to know us, please know it is not adoption related. It's a personal place where God has placed us. He didn't ask us ahead of time if it would be okay, but He is the Almighty and doesn't have to ask. Ahead of us, just down the road is our Divine Moment. Our problem is that we are not sure how long it is going to take to get there, what else is out there, and if the road is smooth or filled with potholes. Today, I had a moment of anxiety. This is nothing new but I was having a good morning then BAM..... Old fears on a new day start to creep in! So, what is a girl to do? Well I got on the elliptical and started running. I am not a runner by nature and not very fond of being sweaty, but this is a part of my daily routine, okay I don't always follow a rigid schedule either. But today (and everyday this week!) I was determined to stay on track and started my praise and worship CD and started to run. I really feel like this is time to focus on the Lord and worship Him, it is an amazing time. But I kept replaying in my mind my present dilemma. I kept asking the Lord to reveal something, anything to me. I just kept running, praying, asking, and worshiping. At one point I looked down and I only had 1:11 seconds to go. "Not bad" I said to myself. Then an amazing song came on "All I want is You" by Planetshakers. Here is a few of the words that captivated me "When all the things around me have fallen to the ground-I am thankful for the love that I've found in you-Take me to the secret place-Where I can only see is Your face-Desperate for your touch-Never needed it so much- Because all I want is you" I found that in my soul this is what I really needed. Just Jesus. Then the song was over and I looked down and had ran way over my time, didn't even know it. Most of the time I am doing a count down 3!2!1! But today I didn't realize the time, I wasn't exhausted, my legs didn't give out,and I still had air in my lungs! That is when I felt the spirit of God whisper to my heart " You have it in you to do this thing too... You can do it IF you keep your eyes on me. Stay focused on me, take My hand. Before you even know it you will finish this journey."
He sees my circumstance. Just because I can't see anything ahead doesn't mean that He can't. He can and does. He knows where I've been. He knows where I am headed. He knows where I am supposed to be going. If I have just enough light for the step I am on right now. It is enough. It has to be enough. For I have Him, and He is all I need.
In the day when I cried out, You answered me, and made me bold with strength in my soul.
Psalm 138:3
You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thoughts from a far. You comprehend my path and my lying down, You are acquainted with all my ways.
Psalm 139:2-3
Refusing to be afraid of the dark, Steph


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